♥ 

I feel as though I have  been away for weeks… maybe even months, but I am now home for at least a few days. We have been in Nebraska for the Miss Basketball Tournament since last Wednesday. I am now confirming that my brain is mush…because I just had to spell and re-spell…TWICE…the word Wednesday. No it wasn’t a typo…I just couldn’t spell WED-NES-DAY!

A couple of sad things have happened in this last week, both associated with our travels. First confession {deep sigh}..it is with deep sadness that I have to restart my counter for our dryer moritorium. I washed a load of clothes the day before we were to leave and it became cloudy and rainy…and then remained humid. I couldn’t leave the clothes in the washer while we were gone and I wasn’t in favor of having to rewash them, so the dryer came out of retirement and one load was run in our electric dryer. While we were on our trip, I did, however, wash 16 pairs of socks (daughter wears two pairs at a time) by hand and hang them to dry in our hotel room. That was a site. Her friends did not understand why I didn’t just go find a laundry mat. I was too tired to explain to teenage girls whom would most likely NOT care about the reason, nor whom would listen beyond my first few syllables of an explaination. They would opt for pushing that invisable “parents-off” button.

Another sad confession has to do with something that has not been publisized much, but we had sort of sworn off of soda. “Sort-of” because we were afraid to announce it because a feeling of inevitable failure.  Twenty-two entire days with soda and I blew it. Yes, it was I who lead us astray. To make it worse, it also took us off our path of not purchasing individual plastic bottles. For me, not drinking soda is as hard as quitting smoking….I have an addiction. I need a 12 step program.

“Hello, my name is anajz, and I am a popoholic.”

THERE! I said it. It is out there for everyone to see….my addiction.

Now they say admitting it is the first step to recovery, but I feel breaking down and having that very first Dr. Pepper the other night, was actually my first REAL step to recovery. Going to dinner with the other families on the team every night, I sat across from someone each night with a large, bubbling glass of soda. (I must mention here that we also have a frugal rule of only ordering water at restaurants.) As I watched the bubbles rise to the top and admired the sparkling shades of caramel glisten through the heavy pilsner glasses in which they were served….I kept telling myself…I can do this…I can do this! I held out, and held out, until one night… in solitude…. after dealing with just one too many difficulties that often ensue when you have too many teen age girls together at one time…. there it was…in a dimly lit, non descript, tiny room right off of the hotel lobby….the beautiful, large, bright red box that promised refreshment, relief from whatever ails you…. sugar crack….it was chipping away at my strength….calling my name…..offering a quick caffiene fix with a bit of carbonation. One Dr. Pepper from that machine and shame washed over me….but not for long.

How in the world can you go THAT long and stumble? The next day, I made my very first purchase from the concession stands at the university. I wanted MORE pop! Of course, who met me up with me at the concession?  One of the mom’s that I had told just the very night before, that we had gone 22 days without a carbonated beverage. (I have decided that it is the carbonation on which I am hooked.) She came up just as I was paying for my 1 Qt. refillable plastic cup, with handle and cool straw. So there is was, I had to admit in public my fall. For almost two days, I did not refill the cup with pop, I carried water and ice to the remaining games. It wasn’t until the last game, that I purchased a refill of Pepsi. And who do you suppose came up beside me at the concession stand? You guessed it…the same adorable, small figured, fit, healthy, mom that was there the first time. I found myself stumbling on explainations that this was the first refill I had purchased and that at least it wasn’t in an individual bottle (that previous discussion could  possibly fill an entire page of posts)  .

What I learned about my addiction this weekend is that, like I previously mentioned, I believe I am hooked on the carbonation..not the caffeine, not the sugar…well maybe not the sugar and that my desire was in my head. All three sodas that I consumed during this trip were not really even that good, especially not the fountain drinks. I had built this up and now I am over it. Telling myself that I could not have something in affect, made me want it even more.  I suspect that I am on the road to recovery and will continue in a more positive fashion…not making such stringent restrictions but following fluid guildelines.

As I close this post, I will leave you with a short snip of an email sent to an aquaintance this morning, explaining how our weekend ended….. 

 ”this is how my day went yesterday after five days spent in nebraska with my daughter playing basketball….at about 9:30 last night we are driving down the road when suddenly, i gasped loudly (for no apparent reason) …husband all but slams on the brakes asking…”what, WHAT?”…..i ask…”what is today?????”  the reply from my daughter in the backseat…”the 13th”. Hubby and I look at each other with unsure, questioning eyes and  then both of us begin to roar in laughter, followed by a quick ”high five” in celebration of our forgotten anniversary….lol. “

 We enjoyed driving through Ottawa, Kansas (my first time other than on the freeway) on our return trip from Lawrence this past weekend. I love old buildings and thought I would share.

These past two days, I have been under the weather a bit. In addition, my external hard drive, which had no back-up, crashed. It is still under warranty, but I fear that all of my daughter’s volleyball and basketball videos, vacation photos, etc. are forever lost. I am in mourning.

I cannot even download the photos from this past weekend until I can either have this one replaced or purchase another.

Whatever you do, don’t think while in the shower!

With all of the constant daily input from the television, the telephone, the children, noisy kids next door, the lawnmower across the street, the weed-eater down the street, and DH with whatever noises he is prone to make, my brain sometimes does not process thoughts as well as it should.

Recently, I realized that I had not taken time to think things through and that I was being coerced by outside elements to do something that I knew I might regret afterwards. Just a side note here…feeling regret afterwards is a common event for me. This past week, I have been impatiently waiting for the movie Sex and the City to come out. I was fearful that it would not make it to our small market theater located about 35 miles from us, but was ecstatic that it was indeed coming to our “local” movie theater. The very first showing was at 12:55 PM and I planned to be there….with a friend, with my husband….with myself…it didn’t matter…I was going to be there!

My DDH (dear, dear husband or darling, dear husband..whichever you prefer) took off from work, so that he could have me present at the very first showing and wanted us to get there early, so that I could buy the very first ticket. Is that not amazing? Friday morning, we sat on the sofa together sipping coffee…him watching television and me on the internet. For a few days now, I have wanted DH to watch the new Path to Freedom Sustainable Food UCLA Lecture videos on YouTube, so I plugged the stereo speakers in to share all three segments with him. (I suggest these videos for anyone who might be on the fence about the importance of growing your own food and saving your own seeds.) Anyhow, the two of us, together, and YouTube generally ends up being an all afternoon thing, but in this case it was an all morning deal with the hours passing quickly. While watching those videos, we shifted gears and began watching solar cooker videos. I am supposing the shift might have had something to do with Anais at PTF posting a photo of her solar cooker. For quite some time, I have been excited at the possibilities of building my own solar cooker or maybe even purchasing one from PTF, but DH is now on board with at least the option of building our own at first. What a great idea!

Well, before we knew it, we were at the point where I needed to jump in the shower to get ready for my movie date with DDH. Do you know that feeling in the shower, where you only hear the water and the thoughts in your own head? Well, there I was thinking…..and thinking…and thinking while I was in the shower. My thoughts wandered in and out of….MAN! I want a solar cooker! Geez..they’re a couple of hundred dollars…..well I could build one. How much would the lumber be? Paint? Could I use a Fresnel lens? …and then back to …geeeez…that’s a lot of money…and we’re about to go into town and drop a hundred bucks…you just watch. It never fails…
Movies~$14
Popcorn/Drinks~$8 (we share our drink)
Gasoline~$12
Bookstore, Wal-Mart, Meade Lumber, Dollar Store~$50
Thai Restaurant~$30

In my head it was all adding up and then I turned to, a whiny “Now, why do I want to go see this movie?” I mean..come on…it’s  about 4 indulgent women who spend money as if it grew on trees and are so far removed from the lifestyle that I have chosen…for the life of me I could not give a good reason why I even wanted to go to the movie in the first place. While still standing in the shower, I shouted out at DH, asking if he really, no I mean REALLY, wanted to go to this movie or was he just doing it because he thought I wanted to go?
Me~Honey-I was thinking…if we go to Dodge…we will end up spending quite a bit of money.
DH~So? You want to go.
Me~but you know, $20 or $30 would go a lo-o-ong way towards the supplies to build a solar cooker
DH~Yep, but you want to go to the movie…yes, I want to go, so hurry up, get dressed…let’s go
Me~but I REEEALLLY want  a solar cooker.

Well, the weekend has come and gone, and nope I didn’t go to the movies. DH and I hung around the house and enjoyed each others’ company the remainder of Friday. We wrote up some specs on our own home built solar cooker, worked in the yard a bit, and DH even constructed a make-shift, prototype solar cooker from a cardboard box, some weed barrier, meat thermometer, and a glass window. We found out that we could get the temperature up to 180 degrees, which meant we were on to something. With a little ingenuity, we could be solar cooking in the backyard in no time. Over the afternoon, on more than one occasion, I confessed to DH that I felt guilty going to the movie when I have been trying so hard to be more frugal, a bit greener, and less oil dependent. Going to watch that particular movie seemed to present too huge of an inner “responsible vs. frivolous” conflict. Now, if it had been a documentary from Path to Freedom, there would have been NO CONTEST!
The PTF Groupie in me would have insisted we camp out in the mall parking lot the night before to ensure tickets.

The remainder of the Friday afternoon, I researched garden totems, and frugal decoration ideas, which resulted in me running to the hardware store at five minutes to closing to spend $5. When I returned, DH remarked, “Well, we almost made it through the day without spending any money.”

Saturday came and I awoke to find my usual morning cup with cream, sugar, and spoon waiting for the coffee to be poured. DH had to be at work before sunrise, so I would be pouring my own coffee. No one makes a better pot of coffee or mixes the cream and sugar in a cup better than DH.

We planned to attend the local farmer’s market in Greensburg around 9:00 AM and so off to the shower I went. There I was again..thinking…hm…I sure liked some of those garden totems; I wonder if the thrift shop would have some inexpensive items that I could use for my own totems and birdfeeders? Hmmmm…after Greensburg, I wonder if DH will want to head over to Pratt? We could go to the farmer’s market there also. Well, DH arrived home and away we went…yesterday’s frugal homebodies-today’s consumers. We did attend the Greensburg farmer’s market, and were very pleasantly surprised to see Anita from Prairie Dreams and her family arrive shortly after we did. (I recognized her and Rick from her online photos.) We visited for a short bit before each of headed off in our own directions.

Greensburg turned into Pratt, which turned into hitting the garage sales, almost every thrift shop in Pratt, a flea market junk shop in Cullison, and an antique shop in Belvidere. My car was filled to capacity with plants and junk. On the way home, we stopped in Greensburg to buy fuel ($35 for 9 gallons thank you very much), milk and bread. While waiting in line to pay, who do you suppose walked in? Rick and Isaiah! What are the chances that on two occasions in the same day we would show up at the same location at the same time? Wow! Anita wasn’t with them, but we did get to visit for a bit while the cashiers were dealing with computer issues and the registers not working.

For our only plans being to visit the farmer’s market, we sure covered a lot of ground that day. I told DH that I felt like it was my birthday or something because of how he accommodated my every whim…well, almost..there was a brief moment of disappointment over a wonderfully vintage garden gate that I wanted to buy. It was a joyous day spent talking, dining, *shopping* in a greener fashion, seeing some countryside that I had not seen in a long while with the one I love!

So now that I am at the end of my blog post, I am wondering about the original premise for my writing. Sunday, for a brief moment, I took a look at the SATC reviews hoping to find out whether Carrie and Mr. Big actually tie the knot. , I thought….”what the heck have I done?” I wanted to see SATC! I wanted to know the end!! Was I crazy? Then my thoughts turned to …what would DH say if I told him that I really did want to go? All day as I dug in the garden, washed clothes, dishes and cleaned, all I could think about was..why in the world would I have said no, I don’t want to go? At the end of the day, I had just about decided that I would sneak away on planned “in town”, during the day, by myself (no witnesses). Being grungy from my chores, I decided to take an early shower before settling down to my writings.

The faucet was turned on full blast (no this was not a “green” shower….I was covered in dirt) and my thoughts began to wonder, yet again. Why am I going back and forth about a silly movie? Geez…it isn’t like I have watched every episode or anything…and besides it will eventually be out on DVD or better yet…free on television. So my thoughts kept wonderin’ in and out, back and forth, and then my brain jumped track and reviewed my day’s successes and failures..like my first solar cooking attempt (to be reported upon later) and then it came to me….my desire to see the movie again came from outside input (internet/television) and had nothing to do with anything but that… and ….because of my thoughts wanderin’ over to the review of my solar lunch challenge I knew that I wanted a better built solar cooker more than I wanted to watch those four perfectly coiffed women extravagantly sip Cosmopolitans for two and a half hours.

So now, I say to you…while in the shower….turn off the outside yammer….be one with the water (okay I know a little hokey, but you know what I mean!) and …Whatever you do…THINK while in the shower!
 

We made a few stops on our return home from Oklahoma City yesterday. It was an interesting day. I had my list of places to go and DH was kind enough to accomodate my whims. First stop was at Garden Ridge Pottery where I had hoped to find some inexpensive items to add to my backyard art, but nothing was inexpensive and I left sorely disappointed with only a $1.50 clearance purchase of a small wooden house. Next up was Hobby Lobby, where I found a bargain on two decorative birdhouses. One was damaged, so the manager knocked a bit more off of the price for me. Since these will be outside, cheap is better.

The air was so hot and humid, that everything was a huge effort, so we decided to go eat before heading back home. We settled on Zio’s, one of my favorite restaurants. The last time we were there, our waiter had us in stitches and the food was exceptional, however this visit was not anywhere near as enjoyable.  I tried something new on the menu and the lemon was not mixed evenly throughout the sauce, which caused my jaws to “lock”. You know that feeling….if not…imagine biting into the most sour lemon could imagine and how the sides of your face contract uncontrollably. Yep…that will take you  where I was yesterday….lol. The waiter offered another entre, which resulted in a huge plate of lasagna, but unfortunately my taste buds were too badly assaulted by the other that it seemed bland. After spending $27, I was ashamed of my decision of splurging.

I had hoped to visit Home Depot on our trek down the road, but again the heat was overwhelming for sissy ol’ me and I didn’t want to get out of the car. It suited DH well, as he isn’t into spending money at the moment, so we just drove by the sheds and cabin that we always drool over with every visit to OKC. I keep telling myself…someday…yes…someday I will have this at the farm as a weekend and holiday retreat. Still longing as we pulled out of the parking lot, I asked DH to visit McClanes to look at RVs. I have a dream of one day traveling the country, working as I go, to see all 50 states. I don’t know if going to the RV dealership was such a good idea. We saw some beautiful new and used trailers and RVs, but the sticker shock made me realize that I may never fullfill this dream. I suppose it was a realistic awakening.

Down the freeway we traveled, making our usual turn at Geary, OK to head towards Woodward.