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I feel as though I have  been away for weeks… maybe even months, but I am now home for at least a few days. We have been in Nebraska for the Miss Basketball Tournament since last Wednesday. I am now confirming that my brain is mush…because I just had to spell and re-spell…TWICE…the word Wednesday. No it wasn’t a typo…I just couldn’t spell WED-NES-DAY!

A couple of sad things have happened in this last week, both associated with our travels. First confession {deep sigh}..it is with deep sadness that I have to restart my counter for our dryer moritorium. I washed a load of clothes the day before we were to leave and it became cloudy and rainy…and then remained humid. I couldn’t leave the clothes in the washer while we were gone and I wasn’t in favor of having to rewash them, so the dryer came out of retirement and one load was run in our electric dryer. While we were on our trip, I did, however, wash 16 pairs of socks (daughter wears two pairs at a time) by hand and hang them to dry in our hotel room. That was a site. Her friends did not understand why I didn’t just go find a laundry mat. I was too tired to explain to teenage girls whom would most likely NOT care about the reason, nor whom would listen beyond my first few syllables of an explaination. They would opt for pushing that invisable “parents-off” button.

Another sad confession has to do with something that has not been publisized much, but we had sort of sworn off of soda. “Sort-of” because we were afraid to announce it because a feeling of inevitable failure.  Twenty-two entire days with soda and I blew it. Yes, it was I who lead us astray. To make it worse, it also took us off our path of not purchasing individual plastic bottles. For me, not drinking soda is as hard as quitting smoking….I have an addiction. I need a 12 step program.

“Hello, my name is anajz, and I am a popoholic.”

THERE! I said it. It is out there for everyone to see….my addiction.

Now they say admitting it is the first step to recovery, but I feel breaking down and having that very first Dr. Pepper the other night, was actually my first REAL step to recovery. Going to dinner with the other families on the team every night, I sat across from someone each night with a large, bubbling glass of soda. (I must mention here that we also have a frugal rule of only ordering water at restaurants.) As I watched the bubbles rise to the top and admired the sparkling shades of caramel glisten through the heavy pilsner glasses in which they were served….I kept telling myself…I can do this…I can do this! I held out, and held out, until one night… in solitude…. after dealing with just one too many difficulties that often ensue when you have too many teen age girls together at one time…. there it was…in a dimly lit, non descript, tiny room right off of the hotel lobby….the beautiful, large, bright red box that promised refreshment, relief from whatever ails you…. sugar crack….it was chipping away at my strength….calling my name…..offering a quick caffiene fix with a bit of carbonation. One Dr. Pepper from that machine and shame washed over me….but not for long.

How in the world can you go THAT long and stumble? The next day, I made my very first purchase from the concession stands at the university. I wanted MORE pop! Of course, who met me up with me at the concession?  One of the mom’s that I had told just the very night before, that we had gone 22 days without a carbonated beverage. (I have decided that it is the carbonation on which I am hooked.) She came up just as I was paying for my 1 Qt. refillable plastic cup, with handle and cool straw. So there is was, I had to admit in public my fall. For almost two days, I did not refill the cup with pop, I carried water and ice to the remaining games. It wasn’t until the last game, that I purchased a refill of Pepsi. And who do you suppose came up beside me at the concession stand? You guessed it…the same adorable, small figured, fit, healthy, mom that was there the first time. I found myself stumbling on explainations that this was the first refill I had purchased and that at least it wasn’t in an individual bottle (that previous discussion could  possibly fill an entire page of posts)  .

What I learned about my addiction this weekend is that, like I previously mentioned, I believe I am hooked on the carbonation..not the caffeine, not the sugar…well maybe not the sugar and that my desire was in my head. All three sodas that I consumed during this trip were not really even that good, especially not the fountain drinks. I had built this up and now I am over it. Telling myself that I could not have something in affect, made me want it even more.  I suspect that I am on the road to recovery and will continue in a more positive fashion…not making such stringent restrictions but following fluid guildelines.

As I close this post, I will leave you with a short snip of an email sent to an aquaintance this morning, explaining how our weekend ended….. 

 ”this is how my day went yesterday after five days spent in nebraska with my daughter playing basketball….at about 9:30 last night we are driving down the road when suddenly, i gasped loudly (for no apparent reason) …husband all but slams on the brakes asking…”what, WHAT?”…..i ask…”what is today?????”  the reply from my daughter in the backseat…”the 13th”. Hubby and I look at each other with unsure, questioning eyes and  then both of us begin to roar in laughter, followed by a quick ”high five” in celebration of our forgotten anniversary….lol. “